Boy or Girl? Cake reveals all!

It’s big news, and what better way to tell the surprise than with a cake? The newest craze in America, parents are hosting Gender Reveal parties where friends and family (and often the parents themselves!) find out what sex the baby will be.

When going for an ultrasound, parents are asked if they would like to know the baby’s gender; in the case of parents who want to host a reveal party, instead of looking at the slip of paper, they’ll slip it into an envelope. The parents will then take this envelope to a baker.

The suspense builds until the parents cut the cake; inside, the pink or blue sponge reveals the gender. It’s a wonderful tradition, and a great way to share good news with everybody at once.

DiB in the Aloha State

Hawaii is the only state in the USA that produces coffee; it is grown on every major island in the State with seven million pounds (3181818.2 kg) produced annually. Hawaii is not only known for its coffee – the most famous being the Big Island’s Kona – but for their herbal teas as well.

One company in Hawaii has dedicated itself to serving its customers with the best quality Hawaiian coffee and providing opportunities within the community. DiB, standing for Deaf in Business, is the only company to run deaf-only cafes in the world.

Their mission statement declares that they will provide employment opportunities for deaf or hearing-impaired (DHI) people in Hawaii and Malaysia and ensure that they have good career prospects. Operational and management training is offered alongside instruction to become a barista, and they aim to motivate and coach DHI people to become business owners themselves. The idea is to start a franchise company, run by DHI who have been trained by DiB and open cafes throughout Malaysia.

There are numerous blends on offer, and tons of teas. All are Hawaiian blends and recipes. However, the cafes serve freshly baked cakes and other bakery treats as well; their passion fruit cheesecake is said to be especially well regarded.

This a wonderful opportunity for many people, and it’s great to see such support within the community. If you’re lucky enough to live in Hawaii, make sure you pop over and see them; if not, their website delivers to the main islands. Here’s hoping they offer international shipping soon!

Give Blood; Get Coffee.

The American Red Cross and Dunkin’ Donuts – an American donut and coffee shop -have teamed up in a scheme dubbed ‘Give a Pint, Get a Pound’. In the hope of raising the number of people who donate blood in the colder months, the scheme has been implemented in Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York and Vermont. For every pint of blood that’s donated, the participant will receive a gift voucher for one pound of coffee.

So far, this has been a very popular campaign. Since its launch, there has been a 16% increase of blood donations in January. The colder months of the year have always seen a dip in those volunteering to give blood; American Red Cross Communications Program Manager, Elaine St. Peter says ‘January is a much better month because people love to come get their Dunkin’ Donuts coffee and help those in need.’

Should you wish to donate blood and live in England or Wales, you can find out more here

Miss California

It took two very brave women to make history in California this year: in the sixty years that the Miss USA pageant has been running, Jenelle Hutcherson (26)  and Mollie Thomas (19) were the first openly gay contestants to compete.

Hutcherson, from Long Beach and Thomas, from West Hollywood, both stated that their platform was that of acceptance. Whilst the Miss USA pageant has very conservative roots, organisers insist that the pageant is all about women being role models and promoting individuality – and who wouldn’t admire these women?

Whilst there have been other lesbian contestants in the pageant world, many of them blend in and don’t make it a known thing. This is a world of long hair and high heels, in a general sense. However, the contestants aren’t judged solely on their super-model looks; this pageant is about charisma, self-confidence, poise and knowing oneself. When Hutcherson wore a tux for the Evening Gown phase, there was no questioning her self-confidence and poise; truly, it’s something to admire.

Carrie Prejean could stand to learn a thing or two from these women.

While the media made rather a large fuss about Hutcherson sporting a mohawk, piercings and tattoos, I don’t think that has much to do with her sexuality. Hopefully, this will encourage other ‘alt’ girls to participate in pageants and not feel that they wouldn’t fit in – you don’t need to be gay to wear a ‘hawk, after all! Her girlfriend, a journalist, wrote a wonderful piece on the entire event. The amount of community support that the Long Beach contestant received is heart warming to see.

For Thomas, this was her first pageant. A part-time student at UCLA, she decided to run to promote awareness for the LGBT community and hopes to become a youth advocate and role model. Having volunteered for a school for handicapped children in Mongolia as well as helping to rebuild homes in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, I’d say that she was already a role model before setting a foot on stage.

Whilst Thomas and Hutcherson won’t be wearing a crown this year, we can only wish these exemplary ladies the very best of luck in their future endeavours.

Who’s Mum?

Florida has been the source of contention in the past few weeks thanks to an unprecedented case. It seems that American law regarding the custody of children will have to be re-written, and new attitudes adopted in a great many courtrooms.This over-due change is thanks to a lesbian couple who are in disagreement over their daughter’s custody. The unnamed couple were in a committed relationship for eleven years before seeking counselling and medical advice in preparation for adding a child to their family dynamic.

However, upon discovering that the 39-year-old woman was infertile, her 34-year-old partner donated one of her own eggs, to be implanted into the 39-year-old who then carried the baby to term. For ease of reading, let’s refer to the 39-year-old as the Child-Bearer and the 34 year old as the Egg-Donor. The father was an anonymous donor who waived all rights to the child.

Their child bears both women’s names, though the birth certificate named only the Bearer as the mother. This, then, is the source of all their problems. The couple raised the child in a joint effort until their daughter was two; upon splitting, the Child-Bearer moved to Australia with the child, and the Egg-Donor remained in America. In a bid to gain custody, the Egg-Donor found her former partner in Queensland and both have returned to America for the duration of the custody battle.

However, according to the current legal system, the woman who bore the child is the child’s mother. There is no other case where the woman bearing the child had an egg donated to her by her partner. There are no guidelines; there are no previous rulings. The Child-Bearer claims that she is the mother, due to the fact that she gave birth to the child. The Egg-Donor claims that she is the true mother as she is the girl’s biological parent.

No clear mention has been made as to whether the two women are suing for sole custody. To me, it would make complete sense to treat this as any other divorce between a heterosexual couple who have had children together. While yes, one woman carried the child for nine months and gave birth to her, the other woman gave a part of herself to make this possible. The man does not carry the child for nine months, but he is just as responsible for the child’s creation. How does this differ? They are both parents. They are both mothers in their own rights. The only thing throwing perception is that both parties are women.

Surely, in this situation, due regard should be given to whoever can provide for the child in a more complete fashion. Is the child better cared for by the Child-Bearer? Would the Egg-Donor be in a better position to provide for her? How has the move to Australia changed the situation between the two – would there be arrangements for the child to visit both her Antipodean and her American family? These questions seem to be more pressing than identifying who is the ‘real’ mother; surely the debate centres on intention and the ability to provide for the child? Without a doubt, the question of who deserves the title of ‘true’ motherhood is exceptionally important, though I think a little bit of focus has been lost on some of the large issues here thanks to the unusual circumstance providing a great deal of excitement. Personally, I feel that those viewing this as a purely cerebral argument are conveniently forgetting that this is a real family that’s being discussed.

On Dec. 23, 2011 a Daytona County judge ruled that the Child-Bearer was in fact the ‘true’ mother, as the law states that the person who gave birth to the child is the child’s mother. There was no allowance for the Egg-Donor in the place of her child’s creation. He stated that it ‘broke his heart’ to rule this, but that the law provided no other alternative. I count this rubbish. So did the lawyers in D.C. In the 5th District Court of Appeal, the courts later gave both women custody to the child, stating that Florida law was ‘outdated and violated the Constitution’.

I think it is incredibly important for the law -and those who enforce and represent it- to keep up with the changing technology in reproductive medicine and the evolution of modern-day family structure. Things are not so black and white anymore; as society grows, we find ourselves with new situations. We need our laws to reflect and protect what we hold dear as a society. Whatever shape our families or our relationships take, we need the flexibility shown in everyday social regards to be reflected in our law practitioners’ attitudes, the laws and their interpretation. Thank goodness this case proved a catalyst to make the necessary changes to outdated systems.  A family is not a simple construct, and as such, it should not be restricted by simple ideas.